Masculine energy isn’t about dominance or detachment. It’s about how men face loss, responsibility, and the slow work of becoming whole. It is at the centre of Josh Tomeoni’s work, who is our guest today. Josh is a men’s coach specializing in divorce recovery and the host of The Derelict Podcast. In his podcast, he speaks candidly about men’s mental health, emotional growth, and the challenges men face when navigating relationships, addiction, and identity. His perspective is shaped not by abstract theory. It is years of lived experience mentoring men, participating in recovery communities, and walking through his own divorce.
From an early age, Josh demonstrates an instinct to bring men back into connection. One of his earliest memories is noticing a boy being excluded and deliberately pulling him into the group. That same instinct, to see men, support them, and challenge them, continues to guide his work today. Yet the model of masculinity he grew up with offers little room for emotional awareness. As Josh recalls, men are expected to “figure it out,” push forward, and avoid talking about feelings altogether. Therapy, he says, is viewed as “a complete waste of time” for men.
Divorce becomes a turning point that forces a deeper reckoning. Josh begins to see how suppressed emotion, unresolved attachment, and unexamined masculine identity quietly shape men’s lives. “Having somebody that could coach me through these things just made a world of difference,” he explains. Through coaching, recovery work, and self-reflection, Josh develops a vision of masculine energy. It is grounded, accountable, and emotionally intelligent. It is the one that aligns strength with calm rather than avoidance or aggression.
This conversation explores how men can move beyond outdated models of manhood and step into healthy masculinity—a form of masculine energy that supports growth, purpose, and connection.
Josh describes growing up with a version of masculinity built on endurance and emotional avoidance. Men were expected to perform, not process. “We can’t sit around and talk about our feelings,” he recalls being taught. The cost of this approach, he explains, is loneliness and emotional isolation.
When masculine energy is suppressed rather than integrated, it often resurfaces in unhealthy ways. These include addiction, rage, or disconnection. Josh notes that many men numb themselves through alcohol, work, or relationships. They mistake coping for strength. True masculine energy, he argues, is not about dominance or suppression. It is about direction and responsibility.
For Josh, modern masculinity requires challenge, but not chaos. Men grow through adversity, yet unchecked aggression is not strength. “You can’t be courageous if you’re not scared,” he says. He emphasizes that fear is not weakness but a prerequisite for growth.
He highlights the importance of calm as an overlooked masculine trait. Drawing from martial arts philosophy, he notes that the most capable men are often the most controlled. Strength without calm becomes destructive; calm without strength becomes passive. Healthy masculinity integrates both.
This balance allows men to confront fear, pursue purpose, and remain emotionally grounded. It is a critical component of emotional intelligence and men’s mental health.
Josh is clear that therapy for men has value, but also limitations. He observes that many men get stuck in insight without action. “Men need challenge,” he says. “They need accountability to grow.”
Men’s coaching, in his view, complements therapy by emphasizing forward movement. While therapy often addresses the past, coaching focuses on direction, discipline, and execution. Both play a role. But men struggling with stagnation often benefit from environments that push them toward responsibility and change.
Josh’s recovery journey does not centre on substances alone. He speaks openly about love addiction and codependency. These are patterns driven by the need for approval and emotional security. “My definition of codependency,” he explains, “is going to any lengths to make sure my partner is okay so I feel better about myself.”
Through 12-step recovery, Josh learns how to listen, take accountability, and build healthier relationships. He believes these principles apply universally. “Who does that not apply to?” he asks. “Everybody.”
Codependency recovery, he argues, is essential for men seeking authentic masculine energy. Especially after divorce.
Divorce represents one of the most destabilizing experiences for men. Josh describes it as “rock bottom”. He emphasizes that the first 100 days after separation are critical. Habits formed during this time often define the years that follow.
One of his strongest warnings is against dating too soon. “Every single man I interviewed said the same thing,” he shares. “They dated too soon.” Without space to grieve, reflect, and rebuild identity, men risk repeating the same relational patterns.
Learning how to deal with divorce as a man means slowing down, building structure, and reconnecting with purpose. It doesn’t mean chasing distraction.
Josh Tomeoni’s message is clear. The solution to broken masculinity is not its suppression, but its refinement. Masculine energy, when aligned with calm, accountability, and purpose, becomes a force for healing rather than harm.
For men navigating divorce, addiction, or emotional disconnection, reclaiming healthy masculinity is not about dominance. It is about responsibility, clarity, and growth. Through coaching, community, and honest self-reflection, men can move forward with strength and integrity.
Josh Tomeoni is a men’s coach, podcast host, and recovery advocate. He helps men deal with divorce, emotional dependency, and big identity shifts.
He hosts The Derelict Podcast. There, he has honest talks about modern masculinity. They cover men’s mental health, addiction recovery, and the real inner work needed for lasting change.
Josh draws from his own life experiences. He also uses 12-step recovery principles. His coaching stresses accountability, emotional intelligence, and steady personal growth.
He focuses on healthy masculine energy. It’s calm, responsible, and full of purpose. This helps men build better relationships. They handle divorce with clear heads. And they lead more intentional lives.
Men’s Therapy Online is a revolutionary platform. It is dedicated to addressing the specific mental health issues faced by men and is hosted by Marc Azoulay, a certified men’s mental health coach. The podcast addresses a wide range of critical topics. These include grief, career transitions, emotional resilience, and personal growth. Every episode will offer insightful conversations and useful coping mechanisms to guide you through life. Join the community and start your journey towards becoming a better man!
https://menstherapy.online/mens-therapy-podcast/
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mens-therapy-podcast/id1559292153
https://www.youtube.com/@menstherapyonline
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