Dr. Matt Englar-Carlson has spent decades studying the psychology of masculinity. He has worked directly with men to help them navigate mental health challenges. He is an esteemed professor and department chair at California State University. As a leading expert on positive masculinity, he brings a nuanced perspective to the conversation. His research focuses on strength-based therapy. It shows how men can use their natural strengths to improve mental well-being. Instead of suppressing emotions, they can embrace them for better mental health.
But Englar-Carlson’s interest in this field is personal. “My dad was a psychologist,” he shares. “I was close to him, and I grew up in the field.” As a child, he attended psychology conferences and observed his father, a small-town therapist. This gave him a deep understanding of the mental health profession. He also gained insight into the unique challenges men face when seeking help. These experiences shaped his perspective on the importance of mental well-being for men. “I had a lot of exposure to what therapy was, and it wasn’t a strange thing for me.”
But, when he started working as a counsellor, he noticed a trend. “Most of my caseload was male, and they had been suffering for a long time before coming in,” he explains. Many men wait until they are in crisis before seeking help. He argues that men’s reluctance to seek help is linked to social expectations and gender roles. These pressures discourage men from showing vulnerability.
Why do so many men avoid therapy? Englar-Carlson points to deep-rooted societal messages about what makes men masculine. “There’s a myth that men don’t care about feelings or that they aren’t interested in emotional health,” he says. “But give them even the smallest container—like a one-hour run with a friend—and they’ll open up.”
The problem, he explains, is that these spaces for emotional connection aren’t always available. Traditional masculine norms emphasize independence and self-reliance. This makes it difficult for men to admit they need support. “It’s not that men don’t want therapy,” he argues, “it’s that we haven’t made it something they feel comfortable accessing.”
The phrase “how to be strong” often conjures images of physical power. But Englar-Carlson believes true strength lies in emotional resilience and connection. “Masculinity has always been changing,” he notes. “It’s about adapting to what life requires of you.”
He highlights the importance of building close relationships and seeking support when needed. Research shows that strong social connections improve mental health. They are also linked to longer lifespans. “If you meet all the traditional expectations of masculinity. Never showing weakness, never asking for help—you’ll likely end up isolated,” he warns.
Instead, he encourages men to redefine strength as the ability to be open, to connect, and to ask for help when necessary. “The healthiest men I see are the ones who have strong, supportive relationships.”
Becoming a dad is a significant shift in a man’s life, and it often brings questions about masculinity and emotional connection. Englar-Carlson notes that gender roles in different cultures shape how men approach fatherhood. “The model of parenthood today is different from past generations,” he explains. “Now, the expectation is that fathers are emotionally engaged.”
This shift can be challenging, especially for men who didn’t have emotionally present fathers themselves. However, Englar-Carlson reassures that emotional availability is something that can be learned. “Fatherhood offers a chance to break the cycle and build deeper relationships.”
Loneliness is a growing issue among men, and Englar-Carlson sees it as a critical mental health concern. “The number one factor for longevity and happiness is relationships,” he says. Yet, many men struggle to form and maintain close friendships.
He suggests looking for structured ways to connect, whether through sports, hobbies, or men’s groups. “Once men are in these spaces, they thrive,” he says. “But the hardest part is getting them in the door.”
To combat loneliness, he encourages men to take small steps. Check-in on a friend, join a local group, or simply start talking more openly about emotions. “Strength isn’t about going through life alone. It’s about knowing when to reach out.”
Englar-Carlson’s insights remind us that masculinity is not about rejecting emotions. It is about embracing them in a way that fosters resilience and connection. If more men can see emotional health as part of their strength, the barriers to seeking help may finally begin to break down. Englar-Carlson recommends finding communities that encourage open discussions about men’s mental health. These communities can offer support and understanding. They provide a space for men to explore these topics more deeply. “We all need people who have our backs,” he says. “And that’s the real definition of strength.”
Dr. Matt Englar-Carlson is a professor, department chair, and researcher specializing in men’s mental health. He focuses on healthy masculinity and strength-based therapy to help men build emotional resilience. He has worked extensively to understand how men develop this strength. His research examines how social expectations shape men’s willingness to seek help. It addresses how psychological frameworks can be adapted to better serve male clients. He is also known for his work on fatherhood, male friendships, and the psychology of masculinity.
Beyond academia, Englar-Carlson is actively involved in outreach programs. These are aimed at improving mental health support for men. He collaborates with organizations such as the Positive Masculinity Coalition and Movember and aims to create spaces where men feel encouraged to engage in open conversations about their well-being. Dr. Matt frequently speaks at conferences. He contributes to conversations about overcoming loneliness and fostering vulnerability in men. He also focuses on redefining strength in their lives.
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