Something is off for Gen Z men right now. It can look like confidence on the surface, online presence, gym routines, and a few matches on the apps. But underneath all of that, there is often a young man who does not know who he is, who feels invisible in his own friendships, and who is watching his dating life go nowhere without understanding why.
That is where this conversation goes.
In this episode of Men’s Therapy Online, Marc Azoulay answers real questions from gen z men about the things therapists rarely address directly: what kind of therapy actually works for a man who already overthinks everything, why dating apps are engineered to keep you failing, how to stop doom scrolling and start building something real, and what it actually takes to go deeper in male friendships without it feeling forced.
The episode makes one thing clear quickly: Gen Z men are not struggling because they are weak or broken. They are struggling because they are being pulled in too many directions at once. They are being told to be emotionally aware but not soft, vulnerable but not needy, a leader but never dominant. And most of the answers being served to them online are either designed to monetize their pain or to sell them an identity that was never theirs to begin with.
It shows up when a man:
That is the deeper problem here. When your sense of self is built on what you consume instead of what you do, when your relationships mostly live in comment sections and DMs, and when the friction and difficulty that actually build character have been engineered out of your daily life, you end up feeling empty without being able to name exactly why.
Marc walks through what it looks like to start changing that. He covers how to find the right type of therapy for a mind that already knows everything but still cannot change, the mechanics behind dating app design and why it is built to keep you swiping, what actually creates attraction versus what kills it, the evolutionary reason men need to do things together before they can go deep emotionally, and what gen z men specifically need to start doing to build a life they are proud of.
This episode is for Gen Z men who feel stuck, whether that means lost on the apps, isolated despite being constantly online, unsure what kind of man they want to be, or craving real friendships they do not know how to build. It is also useful for any man trying to figure out what kind of therapy is right for him and whether group therapy might be worth considering.
Marc points to the cultural whiplash Gen Z men are navigating: be emotionally open, but not weak; be a leader, but not dominant; be authentic, but also perform constantly for an online audience. That contradiction makes it almost impossible to build a stable sense of self. His advice is to stop sourcing your identity from influencers and start looking at the real men in your life. The ones who are actually doing something you respect and build from there.
Marc describes online isolation as the default mode for a huge portion of young men right now, not a personal failure, but a cultural one. Constant comparison, influencers designed to make you feel lesser so they can sell you the solution, and the absence of real friction or challenge all contribute to anxiety, depression, and a low-grade sense of emptiness. His suggestion: be more intentional about who you consume, and start converting online interests into in-person experiences.
Because the business model depends on you staying on the app, not leaving it. Marc breaks down how apps are designed to create just enough engagement to keep you hooked. This includes pairing you with people who ghost, while monetizing your desperation through features like super likes and digital flowers. His take is that dating apps are among the worst ways to meet someone. A man who is genuinely building a full life will be far more attractive and far less reliant on them.
Marc reframes the problem: men are not bad at connection, they just connect differently, side by side, through shared activity rather than direct conversation. His advice is to start doing the things you are already talking about together, because going through an experience with another man is what creates the trust and bonding that makes deeper conversation possible afterwards. Men’s groups can also serve as a training ground for those skills before bringing them into everyday relationships.
You can find Marc and the full Men’s Therapy Online community at his website. It is built specifically for men who are ready to go deeper than individual therapy alone can take them. You can connect with Marc via his LinkedIn.
Ready to go deeper? Men’s Therapy Online offers Individual therapy built specifically for men. Also consider joining the Men’s Group and the free Slack Community where over 250 men have real conversations about growth, identity, and men’s mental health.
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